“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn.
Some relationships don’t break you overnight, they erode you slowly. They dim your light, distort your purpose, and drain your energy poco a poco (little by little) until you’re a shadow of your potential. These are the silent saboteurs: toxic associations that masquerade as love, loyalty, or legacy while quietly derailing your growth.
Tina Turner’s story is one of the most powerful illustrations of how toxic relationships can sabotage greatness. In the early years of her career, Tina was tethered to Ike Turner—her musical partner and husband. While Ike helped launch her into stardom, he also subjected her to years of physical, emotional, and psychological abuse.
Behind the glitz of their performances was a woman trapped in fear. Ike controlled every aspect of Tina’s life—from her finances to her stage presence. His volatility and violence were well-documented, and Tina endured it for years, believing she had no way out. Her loyalty, fear, and lack of support kept her bound to a destructive dynamic that nearly cost her everything.
It wasn’t until Tina found the courage to leave Ike in July 1976—with just thirty-six cents and a credit card in her pocket to the nearby Ramada Inn across the freeway—that her true transformation began. She rebuilt her career from scratch, eventually becoming one of the most iconic performers in music history. Her story is a testament to the power of reclaiming your life from toxic ties.
The Hidden Cost of Neglecting Association Audits
Show me your circle, and I’ll show you your future. The people around you will either stretch your vision or shrink your potential. Tina’s journey reveals a brutal truth: staying in toxic relationships can cost you your voice, your vision, and your vitality. Whether it’s a romantic partner, a business collaborator, or a friend, unaligned associations can:
*Sabotage your self-worth through manipulation or control.
*Stifle your growth by keeping you in survival mode.
*Distort your identity until you forget who you are.
Call to Action: Audit Your Circle Relentlessly!
Ask yourself: For whom am I shrinking? Who makes me question my worth? Who benefits from my silence or stagnation? How intentional am I about those closest to me?
Conduct an “association audit” regularly. Remove or redefine relationships that drain you. Surround yourself with people who share your values and amplify your light.
The fastest way to lose yourself is to surround yourself with people who don’t share your values. If Tina Turner could walk away from a decades-long abusive partnership and rebuild her empire, so can you. But it starts with radical honesty.
Your associations are either scaffolding or shackles. Choose scaffolding. [To be continued next week].
