“Mentors provide perspective. They help you see the blind spots and chart a path forward.” – Boaz Rauchwerger.
Mentors or Tormentors — The Power of Discernment
Charles R. Swindoll said, “We need discernment in what we see and what we hear and what we believe.” In the journey of personal and professional growth, mentorship is an invaluable tool. But, as with all powerful forces, it can be wielded in different ways. Not all guidance is created equal. Sometimes, what appears to be mentorship can become controlling, suffocating, or even toxic. So, how do you differentiate between a mentor who propels you forward and a tormentor who holds you back?
The Thin Line: Mentor or Tormentor?
Mentorship should be a source of empowerment, lifting you to new heights. It should help you unlock your potential and guide you toward becoming the best version of yourself. But what happens when mentorship starts to feel like a burden rather than an elevation? What happens when you start to feel stifled, controlled, or manipulated? You may have crossed the line into the realm of a tormentor.
Mentors Build, Tormentors Break!
The key to thriving in any mentorship relationship lies in the ability to discern whether the guidance you’re receiving is empowering or suffocating. The difference between mentorship and ‘tormentorship’ is subtle, but it’s profound. This skill of discernment will be one of the most crucial skills you can develop as you seek to reach your full potential.
A true mentor is like a sculptor, delicately chiseling away at the rough edges of your potential. A tormentor, however, is like a hammer, breaking down rather than building up. Imagine a sculptor standing before a block of marble. With patience and care, the sculptor chisels away, gradually revealing the beautiful statue within.
That’s what a mentor does—they help you uncover your greatness, working with your strengths and weaknesses, nurturing, and shaping you. But when a tormentor comes into play, it’s like using a hammer to break down the marble, leaving you feeling shattered and less than what you are.
Charles Spurgeon said, “Discernment is not knowing the difference between right and wrong. It is knowing the difference between right and almost right.” Knowing the difference between these two types of people can dramatically impact your growth, career, and life trajectory. So, how do you tell the difference between a true mentor and a tormentor in disguise? [To be continued next week].
