“The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.” – Maya Angelou.
The Power Of Listening: The Leader’s Secret Weapon [Part A]
Imagine being President Abraham Lincoln during the American Civil War—burdened, overwhelmed, and needing someone to genuinely listen. Lincoln did something extraordinary: he invited a trusted old friend from Illinois to the White House, just to have someone listen. After pouring out his heart, Lincoln thanked his friend without expecting or receiving advice. He simply needed someone fully present, someone who knew the transformative power of attentive listening. The legendary poet Maya Angelou said, “The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.”
“Listening is about being present, not just about being quiet.” – Krista Tippett.
One day, an old man was casually walking along a country lane with his dog and his mule. Suddenly, a speeding pick-up truck careened around the corner, knocking the man, his mule, and his dog into the ditch.
The old man decided to sue the driver of the truck, seeking to recoup the cost of the damages. While the old man was on the stand, the counsel for the defense cross-examined the man by asking a simple question: “I want you to answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to the following question: Did you or did you not say at the time of the accident that you were ‘perfectly fine'”?
And the man said, “Well, my dog, mule, and I were walking along the road … ” And the counsel for defense said, “Stop, stop, I asked you, tell me ‘yes’ or ‘no’, did you say you were ‘perfectly fine’ at the time of the accident?”
“Well, my dog, mule, and I were walking along the road and … ” The defense attorney appealed to the judge. “Your honor,” he said, “the man is not answering the question. Would you please insist that he answer the question?” The judge said, “Well, he obviously wants to tell us something. Let him speak.”
So, the man said, “Well, my dog, mule, and I were walking along the road, and this truck came around the corner far too fast, knocked us into the ditch. The driver stopped, got out of his truck, saw my dog was severely injured, went back to his truck, got his rifle, and shot it. Then he saw that my mule had broken its leg, so he shot it. Then he said, ‘How are you?’ And I said, ‘I’m perfectly fine.'”
The lesson here? We must have the patience and genuine interest to listen to the full story before jumping to conclusions. As Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw wisely observed, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” [To be continued next week].
Call to Action!
Reflect: Do you have an accessible ear, which is the most called-upon prerequisite of a friend?
Engage: Comment below with your own experiences or tips for becoming a better listener.
