“Our chief want in life is somebody who will make us do what we can.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Saturday, March 1st, at the Made For More Global Leadership Conference 4.0, I shared the stage with my mentor, Elizabeth McCormick—ranked #13 among the World’s Top 30 Motivational Speakers for 2025. Her game-changing feedback was a heartfelt reminder of the power of true mentorship. I’m endlessly grateful for her guidance that fuels my passion to inspire. So, what are the signs of a true mentor?
Signs of a True Mentor: Empowering You to Soar
1. They Inspire Independence
A true mentor doesn’t make your decisions for you, they guide you toward making your own informed choices. Think of them as a lighthouse, showing you the way but never forcing you to follow their path. As Dr. John C. Maxwell wisely put it, “A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” The best mentors will offer insight but leave the decision-making power in your hands, allowing you to learn and grow through your own choices.
2. They Respect Your Boundaries
Respecting your time, space, and mental well-being is a fundamental quality of a mentor. A mentor understands that balance is key to a healthy relationship. They are invested in your success, but they don’t infringe on your personal life. As Brené Brown says, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” True mentors respect your boundaries because they value and honor your individuality.
3. They Celebrate Your Success
A mentor takes joy in your achievements because they understand that your success reflects their guidance. A mentor doesn’t just want to see you succeed, they want you to experience the joy of that success and be part of that journey. Maya Angelou once said, “We all should know that diversity makes for a rich tapestry, and we must understand that all the threads of the tapestry are equal in value.” A great mentor rejoices in your triumphs, knowing that their role was to empower you, not take the credit.
Signs of a Tormentor in Disguise: Warning Signs to Watch For
1. They Control Your Decisions
A tormentor is all about control. They don’t teach; they dictate. A mentor provides advice and guidance, but a tormentor will try to take charge of your decisions, making you feel powerless. They don’t want you to grow, they want to keep you under control. As Stephen Covey warns, “The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives.” If your mentor consistently makes your decisions for you, it’s time to reconsider the relationship. [To be concluded next week].
